Written in Research

When the Cullings began, they eliminated the psychics first because of what they were doing: regulating crime, encouraging cooperation...in short, taking away free will.

Early tests would indicate I had psychic potential, but I escaped because I was a mistake. The Human Handlers said that my brain reacted "differently" than they hoped. My ability lay in connecting with emotions--it was part psychic, but began in affecting biology. They said I had a perverted Sense; it was not precognitive, or telepathic. Empathic, they told me. I had some ability to manipulate emotions, but not enough to warrant plugging me into the Core.

They tested and prodded, and found I made a better Healer than anything else. I remember relief at that feeling. I was assigned to a hospital, which were rare in those days. They were left behind to contain the infrequent manifestation of a vestigial pathology usually psychic in nature. Anxiety, Depression, Schizophrenia...I came to know how these lived, and, theoretically, I functioned to heal. (The Messiah would later say that others like me were in similar facilities; after all, the Conduct Directives proclaimed the sanctity of Human life, which included the lives of those Humans who many never even saw.)

Knowing how to heal demanded knowing the disease, and, ironically, the best method of "knowing the disease" demanded that I know how to inflict a disease in order to eliminate it. Thus, I began training by working with live subjects to induce (if only temporarily) pathology. Sadness was easy, but mixed emotions (conflict, flight/fight response) required a more sophisticated hand. The first joy I felt was when I made someone cry because they were happy. Over time, I induced psychosis, panic attacks, and severe depression--all in the name of healing.

Eventually, I learned Death. That was when the Cullings began. Humans wanted to close the box, but the Kindred fought back.

When the Messiah rescued me, he noticed that I had been living in a "hot zone." I didn't know what that meant. He said that I lasted longer with Humans surrounding me than any other Kindred he had ever met. Realizing that, I said, "They never thought I'd turn on them."